


On useful properties of plants

by Fururin



Category: Pet Shop of Horrors
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 13:04:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19768795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fururin/pseuds/Fururin
Summary: Count D is looking for a way not to part with Leon Orcot.





	On useful properties of plants

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [О полезных свойствах растений](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19284988) by [Fururin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fururin/pseuds/Fururin). 



'He has found me again.'  
'Then you must leave again.'  
'I do not want to.'  
'You have no choice.'  
'I can't!'  
'Why not? How is this time different from the previous ones? Make him forget the last few days. It is perfectly harmless; the dose is well known to you.'  
'He will come searching for me again. How many times do I have to take away his memories? I cannot bear to look at that drawing anymore. He keeps returning it to me.'  
'My dear grandson, tell me: if you do not go through with this, what are you going to do next? He is a human. Not even to mention our sacred feud with their kind, do you not realize that you have a long life ahead of you, while all he has is the inevitable withering and death? My good, unreasonable child. Your father was wrong to believe your gentle heart was your failing, but it is your weakness... Well, no matter. Focus your attention on the important things. You have the devotion of all living beings on the planet at your disposal, as well as a responsibility to them. Human feelings are insignificant in comparison. Resolve this by tomorrow night, and let us leave.'

* * *

Q-chan flew out the open window. D dabbed his face with his sleeve, picked up a cup of cooled tea from the table, and stared at a flower floating in it. 'Resolve this.' It is easy for grandfather to say. He is old and wise; he is the steadiest of all D, all his life having chosen humans as acquaintances, clients, victims, but never as personal enemies or lovers. He abhorred any excess and valued order above all things. Sometimes it even seemed that he regretted that no D could, after all, in the name of order, make peace with the humans — all because of the terrible behaviour of mankind, of course. But even after having been disappointed, like all D, grandfather preserved an unabashed faith in their family's purpose as guardians of the Earth, which he always cared for more than he did for revenge.

Father equated the two, and the humans adored him and lost their minds over him. Not much of a loss for most of them, that was. D sniffed and snapped his fingernails at the cup in annoyance. The rebirth of his father three years ago still hadn't reconciled him with either the bitter fate of хiao mei, or his father's perverted ethics, where a caged, artificially created life was passed off as a saved one.

But at least father had a working brain. His life did not turn into chaos. The man who had chased him for twenty years was, at best, amusing to him. D sighed.

  
* * *

'Mr. Detective...'  
'Shut up, for God's sake shut up...'  
'We need to... talk... A-ah!'  
'Will you take off that dress...'  
'Cheongsam, Mr. Detective!'  
'Whatever. And - Leon!'  
'Whatever.'  
'Don't push it.'  
'Or what, may I ask? Will you have to use force?'  
'Repeatedly.'  
'Oh, the horror!'  
'Please, D. Just let me kiss you in peace for once in my life.'  
'Mmm.'  
'Yes, just like that...'  
'You humans need so much... m-mm... care and attention.'  
'What, did you think you'd sleep with me for a couple of weeks and that's it, we're good? No chance! I've been looking for you for three years, you heartless Chinese bastard.'  
'Leon...'  
'What?'  
'Nothing. Never mind.'  
'What's this tragic tone? Come on, look at me.'  
'It's nothing.'  
'Damn. Not that stare again. Might as well just kill me.'  
'Leon, I...'  
'Hey, hey! Stop with the eye glistening, will you? Seriously, please. D, listen here - listen to what I say.'  
'Mr. Detective, don't.'  
'Actually, I wanted to say it right away when I found you; I just couldn't find the moment...'  
'Leon, please.'  
'I love you, do you hear me?'  
'Oh.'  
'I love you with all your dragons... goats... peonies... Like crazy, I swear. And I wanna be with you. I wanna stop waking up from the nightmare where you push me off that heavenly boat of yours, and... well, you know... Man, it's hard to say these things! Why are you looking at me like that again? I... I've never seen anyone like you. And I've never wanted to lay anyone down on these, what's it they're called... forget-me-nots in the woods, or whatever.'  
'Leon.'  
'What?'  
'This is unbearable. Shut up and kiss me.'  
'That's more like it! Finally!'  
'Oaf.'  
'Wool puller.'  
'Stupid, obnoxious man!'  
'Stupid, curious, sweet god.'  
'Dummy...'  
'I know. And - no you.'

* * *

'My deepest gratitude to both of you. Sorry to disturb you with my request.'  
'Dear Count, we are always happy to see you,' Mandragora assured him. Her voice was like the creaking of ungreased wheels. 'But are you certain your grandfather won't notice? He knows us very well. And then, your man will not be easy to handle, either. Three times already, when I fed him my juice, he fought with me for his memories with such fury... I shudder to remember. Will Mr. Ginseng - with all due respect - be able to hold your unruly lover long enough to have the necessary effect on him?'  
'Indeed, Count', Ginseng said softly. 'Mrs. Mandragora is well known - please understand me in the most positive sense - for her dashing force and abrupt temper. People are afraid of her charms, rightly believing that they simply cannot cope with them. My possibilities in this sense are limited.'  
Mandragora squared her broad dark brown shoulders and lifted her chin. Even sitting, she was a head taller than the pale and delicately built Ginseng.  
'I will take care of everything. Thank you again. Be prepared.'

* * *

'You should have warned me!'  
'Stop yelling!'  
'What am I, a pervert of some kind, to sleep with you under the supervision of your granddaddy?'  
'Grandfather is in the back rooms. You will not see him. He needs to rest now. Mandragora juice will take twenty-four hours to work.'  
'Mand- What juice?'  
'Mandragora is a distant relative of Ginseng, Mr. Detective. They grew up apart; he was in China, while she was in Europe, and their properties are quite opposite. Ginseng prolongs life and youth. Mandragora causes memory loss... poisoning... even death, if the dose is too high.'  
'Wait a minute! I've heard that name before. I just don't remember where... This Mandragora - is it not by chance this huge-ass woman with arms like turnips? Hey! What was that for?! Ow!'  
'Apologize immediately for your insolent tongue, Leon! Mrs. Mandragora is the personification of witchcraft and magical powers of the entire European continent. Only with her help can you make one of D forget what he does not need to remember.'  
'And what's that? I can't believe you decided to poison your own granddad... Hey! Ouch!'  
'Mr. Detective! Grandfather will forget only that he decided to visit me and saw you here. In any case, it was time for him to return to look after the new incarnation of my late father.'  
'Aha.'  
'So tomorrow, on the day of his departure, I am not expecting to see you.'  
'Right. I'll come by the day after tomorrow.'  
'Do me a favour.'  
'Well, shall I go then?'  
'Leon...'  
'Huh?'  
'How did you like your tea?'  
'Tea?.. Fine, I guess, the usual atrocious syrup. Although, today there was a cookie in it of some sort, or maybe a small root, a pale one. I swallowed it by accident, didn't even get a chance to try it. It's not poisonous, is it?'  
'Not at all. In fact, it is quite healthy. Good night, Leon.'  
'Night.'  
'Something's wrong?'  
'You know, I'm not even a bit sleepy. It's kinda weird. I've been working all day, then I got here and we...as we do... And I don't even feel tired. I must be getting younger or something.'  
'That would be unlikely, Mr. Detective.'  
'Did you watch your granddad drink poison with the same little smile? How did he not know immediately what was up anyway.'  
'Did I tell you, Leon, that Moravian nut cakes are a little bitter, but it is the combination of this bitterness with the sweetness of the cream that gives them their unforgettable charm?'  
'Yeah, you did say something like that. I got the hint, that's why I brought them this morning.'  
'Grandfather loves this taste from way back. It seems to set him up in a nostalgic mood, when one wants to let go of the present and surrender to the memories. Mandragora is slightly bitter, too.'  
'Ha! So that's how you did it. Fed grandpa a dose of poison under the guise of his favorite sweets. You cunning schemer!'  
'Have to sometimes... Will you give me the drawing the day after tomorrow?'  
'D-drawing? You mean the one that Chris drew? Yeah, I'll bring it and give it to you ... You still remember about it? I didn't hope you would.'  
'I, Mr. Detective, remember everything perfectly.'

**Author's Note:**

> This is my own translation of the fanfic I originally wrote in Russian.  
> Please feel free to let me know in the comments if I messed up :)
> 
> Also, I couldn't find the English version to check if 'xiao mei' ('little sister') was there to refer to D's twin. So just in case it wasn't - that's what it means.
> 
> Moving on, I wanted this fic to reflect a couple of things from the canon:  
> 1\. Leon's stories tend to involve plants, rather than animals  
> 2\. D has the upper hand in any situation, even if it is not immediately obvious. I thought it would be fun if this held true within the D family. After all, they are not truly the same, so there must be some kind of dynamic among them.


End file.
